On and Off and On and Off

December 1, 2010

I'm back! I have learned so much about myself this past year. I have struggled a LOT with staying raw. On and off, On and off has been the perpetual cycle. Today, I am choosing to be ON!

Why I struggle to stay raw:
1. Eating for emotional reasons. The foods that bring me comfort...bread, chips, popcorn etc.

2. Cooking of my vegan husband and 4 children.

3. Socially. It's just easier (and funner) to go out to eat and eat what everyone else is eating and all of millions of restaurants that offer every kind of food imaginable!

4. It's yummy! It's what I've eaten my whole life (except for all together maybe a year of 100% raw and on and off for 2) It's what I'm used to!

5. It's fast and easily accessible and once in the clutches of "cookedome", which makes me lazy and frustrated and depressed and mad at myself. It's just a perpetual spiral down, down, down and it really hard to get back up. It's addictive and instant!

Okay, so? Excuses, excuses!

What keeps me from loving myself enough to do what is right? WHAT IS IT?!

So, I'm here to figure it out!

Well, what was different about me when I was 100% raw?

Why was I so strong? Strong enough that even being on an all you can eat 5 star cruise I remained 100% raw?? Where did that girl go??

Well, I know she's in there somewhere and I am going to find her!

Let's see,

1. I had just been through an extremely difficult "mystery" illness, scared half to death that I was going to die. Had gone to so many doctors and treatments and I was just filled with fear! THAT was my #1 motivation. To LIVE!

2. I was CONSTANTLY reading a book on raw food.

3. I was writting in my journal, or blogging here when I did a juice feast.

4. I was actively going to support groups or having one in my house. Raw Friends.

5. I was learning how to make so many delicious and fascinating recipes that I wasn't missing anything else.

6. I divorced myself from cooked foods. I could seriously look at all of the cooked stuff and be like, "I loved you once, but I don't want you anymore. I have a new love." I was SO committed, and it was EASY! (I want that back!)



So, Here are my goals to get on and stay on raw!

1. Blog here.

2. Create a support group, I don't know, weekly or biweekly in my home, or here.

3. READ a book or something online everyday about raw food.

4. Focus on completely healing ( I am still not healed from L.S.)

5. Feast on help from you!

6. Keep all of my favorite raw ingredients readily available in my home. (Avocados, pistachios, kale, raw bread on hand)

7. Spend at least 1 day a week preparing more complicated meals (dehydrated stuff like bread, crackers, chips, the stuff I crave cooked.) But keeping it pretty simple, not overwhelming, learning a new recipe each week.

8. Make a juice and smoothie everyday.

9. Keep 2-3 raw salad dressings in the fridge.

10. Always have a big salad prepared in the fridge.

11. Keep soaked nuts in the fridge ready to whip anything up.

So my friends, Will you help me? I've got to find that "Raw Girl" in me again.

I will do it this time! I know if I am accountable to you and not just myself, for now, until I can find "her", I will be able to do it.

Today:
Weight: 159.4 (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!?)I was 152 the day before Thanksgiving......

Meals:
Breakfast: 32 oz. kale, carrot, celery, apple, cilantro, lime, broccoli juice.

1 T. Spirulina mixed with 1/4 c. water. (yucky!)

Lunch: 3 c. greeen smoothie: Spinach, banana, pineapple, orange, lemon, blueberries, and strawberries.

Snack: Soaked in sea salt water and dehydrated pumpkin seeds.
1 Pecan Cocao Truffle.
(Gave me a headache...)

Juice: 20 oz. (Citrus Bliss) grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime juice.

Dinner: Raw stuffing (Buckwheat, pumpkin seeds, walnuts, onion, carrot, celery, parsley, green pepper) Cranberry Sauce (Cranberries, dates, pineapple, apple)

I made it through Day 1 with your help! Thank you!